This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
