im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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