ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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