She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Who died my cat blue again?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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