its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize