never play flip cup with pint glasses
Welp...herpes.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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