i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
that may or may not have been my penis.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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