I'm so fucking centered right now
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize