Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
