i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
