she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
