You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
