She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
