My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
