Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
