Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
