fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
