So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize