Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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