So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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