I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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