I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You're completely useless in the revolution.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He better not be in your backpack
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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