woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
