That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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