spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
