you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
