I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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