hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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