its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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