margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How's work?
Spinning.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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