i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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