is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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