Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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