do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
