That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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