That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
