the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
