She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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