yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
