I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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