Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
