I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
