White coat. Heels.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
