and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize