And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize