you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
