Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize