we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
