i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
