holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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