I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
