i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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