Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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