hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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