Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
