So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
