do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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