so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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