You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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