talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
