He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
