It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
