Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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