Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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