Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Randomize
