I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
