WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
