GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
